Working on Recovery

Tim Varner
3 min readJan 19, 2021
Photo by Hans Vivek on Unsplash

With the continuance of my recovery in the “real-world”, I have discovered some incredibly frustrating parts of a largely simplistic plan. When it comes to getting clean and staying clean, the bottom line is “Don’t Use” which seems obvious, but for struggling addicts like myself, it is more of a daunting task. I have found solace and the capability of staying clean from within the comfort of my own home surrounded by my children and loving wife. With the pandemic still in full swing, I was furloughed from my position at a well-established company. I have been cooking and involved in the hospitality world for more than half of my life and the atmosphere always drew me in seemingly due to the addictive lifestyle.

Although my children are still learning remotely from our home, I still entertain the thought that I will be back in the workforce full-swing eventually. I have applied to innumerable positions remotely as a way to bring in pay. With my wife working full-time and the main bread-winner in our household, it made more sense for me to stay home with our children while she continued her flourishing career.

With my complete humility in full practice, I have considered all job types and fields. Although I have been unsuccessful in finding a full-time paying job, I have managed to get hold of some “gigs” that pay some. My main concern (as is the concern of my family) is what will happen when these restrictions have been lifted and work is back to a daily thing?

With my complete understanding of my powerlessness against alcohol, I have attempted to seek a profession in which addiction is not a dominant subject. I have disregarded the possibility of returning to the hospitality profession, but that has left me unsure where else to begin. Although my focus in college was architectural design, it has been over a decade since I graduated and I would need to reenlist in schooling, which is much harder now than it was before. I always believe in the principal thought that nothing is impossible, if your desire is high enough, you will achieve. With that said, it would still be a factor in my mind of addiction.

Alcohol and drugs are everywhere, that is a simple statement to make. There will never be a profession that goes without any addictive substances, from night-caps with the CEO to a “joint” project with the…

Tim Varner

Intriguing creativity with a darkened sense of belonging