Why does it seem recovery creates a social suicide?

Tim Varner
4 min readJan 26, 2021
Photo by Michal Pechardo on Unsplash

As you begin a recovery journey, you quickly learn the motto of “person, places, and things.” These are the three things you MUST change if you want any success at a sober life. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to stop life as you know it and cancel out every person you have ever known, it simply implies that a severe change is needed.

When I began my journey into a clean life, obviously I would not cancel out my entire family, but there are some in my life that can pose harmful to my recovery so I needed to lessen the tie. With my friends, it was complete abandonment and a hard situation to comprehend or explain.

My “friends” never really encouraged my habits, but they never opposed them either. I was classified as the entertainment late at night when all sobriety had left my mind. I had recently heard the term “Social Suicide” and this phrase triggered an in-depth look into my own life.

One of the most terrifying aspects of recovery is the thought of never using again. Never being around the crows you once were so keen on, and never visiting certain establishments again. The thought of forever is a scary idea when it comes to any aspect of life, disrupting what you know and dissolving that “safety blanket” causes an internal panic in even the most “normal” of people.

With recovery the idea stands dominant due to the fact, you are not only giving up your vice but seemingly your life as well. What you will not understand until you have made the decision, is that your life hasn’t even started yet. We walk, breathe, sleep, eat and drink, but that is simply going through the motions of a life no one wants. When you begin a sober journey an inventory of life will become most crucial.

What is it we want?

What is it we need?

What can we do without?

The heaviest aspect of the inventory is what do we need? If your DOC is on that list then you need to reconsider your determination. No one “needs” to be falling over drunk or high beyond belief. We do NEED sobriety, clear-thinking, and levelheaded living.

When it comes to socializing and a circle of friends and family we trust, it can pose even harder to determine the need from want. I never…

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Tim Varner

Intriguing creativity with a darkened sense of belonging