Rain Rain

Come to me

Help me feel

Help me breathe

Precipitation Participation

Wow, that’s hard to say.

As I sat yesterday admiring the beauty of the rainfall encompassing my outside surroundings, I began to relive my past attempting to understand how my path unfolded.

When I was in my youth the rain always possessed some sort of security for me. I loved the sounds, smells, and of course the puddles. Never needing a towel to dry my drenched heavy clothes, my family and friends never seemed to understand the fascination I had developed with the descriptively irritating weather.

Growing older through…

“Never trust an addict.” Or so they say.

Living that stigma, I can’t help but agree with those words.

Throughout my addiction I have broken so many trusts, it has risen to innumerable proportions. Through family and friends, bosses, and coworkers, I have completely destroyed any ounce of faith that still existed in a plethora of relationships. Several people in my life have chosen to ignore the fact that my addiction has led to the demise of my trustfulness. …

I was recently going through things making space for our newest baby boy and I came across the eulogy I had written for my mother when I was 18. Fresh out of high school and living alone with my mother I wasn’t prepared for this turn of events and I wanted to share.

Accolade of Great Woman

How can you put into words the kind of woman my mom was? My mom was and still is an amazing person. She’s a friend to all and family to us. My mom worked her whole life and strove for the best at everything she did. If…

Addiction has posed a struggle in every aspect of my life as it does in every pursuer. From failed attempts to last friends, broken relationships, and disastrous reality. None the less, getting sober is the right decision for all.

Focusing on the relationship aspect of recovery, I have begun thinking of every part of life that has been disrupted. When I was heavy in my addiction I was the “Playboy” many associate with partying. Waking up in beds across the county, one-night stands, and the need to relearn a name were part of my daily activities.

When I met my…

In the Beginning

With your last line, what would you say?

How do you end all communication along with existence?

The criteria for writing your final act, the last piece of art to ever describe you, has always been a puzzling one to me. I recall the ideas and thoughts in notes I have heard of and try to understand the process in which one goes through to express their life in a single document.

To Whom It May Concern

When addressing this note, who is it to be directed to? Do you single out a sole individual, a group of people, family, friends, or someone you’ve never…

As you begin a recovery journey, you quickly learn the motto of “person, places, and things.” These are the three things you MUST change if you want any success at a sober life. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to stop life as you know it and cancel out every person you have ever known, it simply implies that a severe change is needed.

When I began my journey into a clean life, obviously I would not cancel out my entire family, but there are some in my life that can pose harmful to my recovery so I needed to…

With the continuance of my recovery in the “real-world”, I have discovered some incredibly frustrating parts of a largely simplistic plan. When it comes to getting clean and staying clean, the bottom line is “Don’t Use” which seems obvious, but for struggling addicts like myself, it is more of a daunting task. I have found solace and the capability of staying clean from within the comfort of my own home surrounded by my children and loving wife. With the pandemic still in full swing, I was furloughed from my position at a well-established company. …

As depression soars and the darkness veils

We look to hope in magnificent scales

Without the understanding of why we’re tied down

We lack the sensibility to forge our crown

We can never comprehend why life throws us curves

Forgetting the right path when our judgment swerves

I believe we can all look through the eyes of a damaged dove

Never experiencing flight in the skies above

When we try to fly with sewn wings

We tend to forget what our footsteps bring

Progress is capable no matter how bleak

We advance in ways through whatever we seek

A broken…

Tim Varner

Intriguing creativity with a darkened sense of belonging

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